A promotional poster for Barbie featuring two blonde characters in a pink vintage convertible car against a bright blue sky background, with a large pink Barbie logo at the top.

Barbie

Beer Score: 1

Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy

Description: Barbie leaves her perfect pink world because she starts having thoughts. Turns out the real world isn’t run by glitter and good vibes. Expect an existential crisis wrapped in a fashion show and somehow, Ryan Gosling steals every scene like his abs are method acting.

Reviewer: Caden

This movie is proof that feminism and plastic can coexist. One of the funniest identity crises ever put in high heels and honestly, it deserves a PhD in self-awareness.

Review Scale Below

On this scale, fewer beers means a better movie. If a film keeps you so engaged that you don’t need a drink, it scores low. The more beers it takes to get through, the worse the movie was.

  • 1 Beer: Great — only one beer for fun, not survival.

  • 2 Beers: Decent — had a few slow parts, but still enjoyable.

  • 3 Beers: Meh — starting to need drinks to stay entertained.

  • 4 Beers: Rough — alcohol improves it more than the plot does.

  • 5 Beers: Terrible — only bearable if you’re too buzzed to care.